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How to Evacuate

by Janie H.

We were evacuated—twice.  Along with our friends, Tom, Mary, and Mark, we ran here and there trying to find the clean air and landed in Palm Springs.  Three days later, all 4 adults, 4 dogs, 4 cars, and 6 computers made it safely home.  We were really lucky.  Our house was still there and the flowers were still blooming and smiling.  What is more important to share are the lessons we learned.  Here they are.

Learn to Bust a Move.

When you get the call: GO!  Don’t be a hero.  The trade of an irreplaceable life to save a replaceable house is not a good one.   And, just because you evacuated once, it doesn’t mean you won’t have to do it again - soon.  We were cooling our heels at the Lawrence Welk Village in a large two bedroom suite which held the four of us (well, OK, the eight of us counting our dogs that we snuck in) thinking we had it made.  Five am the mountain air was clear and a pleasure to breath.  Six am the place was covered in ash and you couldn’t see or breathe.  We had to act fast.  We packed up and moved so quickly that I later found my toothbrush in the dog food.  That is fast packing!  You might want to make a mental note now of the things you really would want to take, because you must learn to move quickly.  And then bust as many more moves as you need to after that, too.   

Expect New Lows.

During your evacuation, you will reach new lows.  We all had them.   Lina took a sponge bath with the dog water in a parking lot.  Eyebrows were raised at Don by a bunch of beer-drinking RV campers (who incidentally, but not surprisingly, had no wives themselves) regarding his failure to demand that his wife stay at campground with him even though she was sure to get an asthma attack. (Note: However, it was this same errant wife that came relocated him to the resort and brought him pizza!  Ha Ha, RV camper-dudes!)    Misty had to eat her dinner out of a coffee cup lid. 

Learn to Live with Uncertainty.

There is lots of uncertainty associated with evacuation.  You will have to live with it.  Do you have a house any more? Is everything you ever owned, gone for good?  Are you driving into, or away from, the fire of death?  Where will your next Starbucks come from?  Will they have soy?

Develop your own Evacuation Chic

If you have time, grab one of everything—preferably in a matching color scheme (Black before April and Pink after).  But, in the event you did not quite get a full ensemble when you were blasting out the door at 3 am, fill those fashion gaps at the nearest thrift store.  For example, you can get quality Harley Davidson muscle shirts for almost nothing in Palm Springs.  Mary found a nice used Sweet Love Tinkerbell T-shirt.  Don got shorts that were only one size too large.  We all needed socks.  Marley got some little dog fire booties at Home Depot.  Believe me, he was thrilled with Don for finding them.   

Redefine Accessories.

Mary accessorized with what was hanging on her rear-view mirror.  You can too if you keep some good stuff there!  Also, respiration masks make a fabulous addition to any modern look.  Be sure you use #95's.  If you remembered your magic markers, you can decorate them.  One policeman decorated his with ”NO, means NO“, which was a perfect match with the AK-47 he was toting in our neighborhood when we tried to get back home.